"As long as the changes you make are healthy and constructive, these are very appropriate," says Alberti."Think about who you want to be -- the person you were before the marriage, or maybe a new person?What are some of the things you can do differently?" Look for changes you can say yes to, instead of dwelling on what's out of reach.Maybe you always loved going to the theater but your husband hated it. "Exercising your interest in those again is important to rebuilding yourself." The life-changing period of divorce, though often difficult and unwelcome, holds a silver lining: to shake things up and try on a new lifestyle."What were your hobbies and activities before the marriage? Maybe it's as simple as a pixie haircut after a lifetime of wearing long, flowing locks.But chances also are that although you might not be able to do whatever your fantasy is, there may be other changes that ARE within your reach.So don't reject the idea of any change, just because you can't make every change.
There are possibilities to pick up new friends and enter different kinds of groups that have to do with your interests.The social dimension after a divorce can be very rich." This isn't about rebounding.It's about considering dating (once you feel ready) outside your comfort zone -- someone who's not your type -- without thinking that it has to head toward a permanent relationship."You have to work on getting confidence and faith in yourself and ability to believe in your own worth." This is also something you could pursue in therapy, or through Tip No.4: Especially if you were married for a long time, you may have given up a lot of the things you enjoyed as a single person because they didn't fit with your "couplehood." Maybe you loved to go out, but your spouse was a homebody.Society is much more accepting of singles than even a decade ago, when solo restaurant diners often got the hairy eyeball.