The threesome eventually split up—the duo wanted to return to a monogamous arrangement—but she's still close with them both, and she's still nonmonogamous. "I'm planning on coming out of the poly closet," she says."I just haven't yet." Sunday Styles section published a story about the open marriage of the actress Mo'Nique and her husband Sidney Hicks that created such reader interest that, two days later, the paper ran a comment-filled companion piece online.Would it always seem like the dreaded settling, a lesser version of what one should truly want?Does it always mean wasting a limited amount of emotional and psychological bandwidth?
For a period of six months, she decided, she'd date both her boyfriend his girlfriend.The focus is always on the couple—how their adventures in nonmonogamy fuel their partnership and heighten their sex lives; how they're able to navigate sleeping with others without breaking their sacred union.Maybe Ivy isn't "out of the poly closet" not because she's ashamed or embarrassed to be part of a poly arrangement, but because of her particular position within that arrangement."It was very clear what the hierarchy was, but he called us both his 'girlfriends,'" she says.The expiration date on this experiment was crucial: "I didn't want to be obsessing every day whether it worked for me, because that's a recipe for unhappiness." At the end of the six months, she'd assess.Is it possible to be happy as a "secondary," as wince-inducing as the word is?